Motherhood, Mission Fields, & A Book Review

Last Mother's Day, a link to this blog post about motherhood landed in my inbox.

After reading it, I wanted to go climb Mount Everest or run twenty miles, but instead I sat on my couch and wept because I was eight months pregnant. 

It was the first time someone had described motherhood in such a way that left my heart feeling lighter and unburdened. I love my son to the moon and back, but I (frankly) was scared at the thought of children and always felt like I'd have to give up doing what I loved in order to have them. So, when I found out the same women wrote a book about motherhood I couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

(I promise I'll get to the book review part in a second minute...)

Now, after actually having a baby, my views have somewhat altered.

I wonder if I have misunderstood the phrase, "motherhood is your calling." 

I have a hunch it all boils down to semantics, but in our culture the word "calling" seems to have become synonymous with, "the reason you exist." I have to remind myself that it simply untrue. Jesus is the reason I'm here - to glorify Him. My calling is merely the business He gave me to do while I'm on this earth. 

Also, there's this belief floating around inside of me that our "callings" usually tend to be things we feel most alive doing. So.... what if what I feel most alive doing isn't being a mother?

This may be a narrow audience, but these thoughts are mostly spoken on behalf of the group of women who feel like God has stirred them to pour their life into a mission field outside of motherhood, but who still want children and are scared that they will have to sacrifice one for the other.

Maybe they feel (as I did) scared (and are even dealing with resentment?) about having to completely give up a God-given passion, and simultaneously guilty and sad about the thought of purposefully not having children.

Here is what I know:

I love my son, and cannot believe God chose me to be his mother. Sometimes I think being a parent is about realizing how undeserving I am of such a gift ... and Z can't even have a conversation with me yet! 

However, God did call me to do something apart from, but not better or more important than, motherhood.

I don't think motherhood is as clean and cut as we'd all like it to be. Whether defining it as the primary and most important role a woman can have OR seeing it as a burden that will keep you from accomplishing life goals. 

Please, please... thoughts on motherhood? Whether you're not a mom yet and are wading through some similar feelings, maybe? Or a seasoned veteran?

Rachel blogs at Femina. 

And finally, I just finished Rachel Jankovic's, Loving the Little Years, and really enjoyed her thoughts on motherhood. She has several (read: SEVERAL) tiny people. I can't say that I agreed with everything in the book, but I appreciated it because her thoughts came from someone right in the thick of it.

Pros: 

Short chapters. The longest one may have been five to six pages, some were as short as two. This is very conducive to actually reading while raising children.

She focuses on the heart. One of my favorite thoughts was realizing that when it feels like the kids need a spanking, chances are you're the one that needs the spanking. She has such a grace-filled approach to parenting.

She offers practical examples. Sometimes when books are all theory it can be disheartening. She does a great job of offering a few real-life stories that show how some of she and her husband's parenting practices play out.

Cons: 

Very Direct. I'm a big fan of tentative statements and there didn't seem to be a ton in there; however, when you have a ton of small children running around I imagine there isn't a lot of time to condition every thought you have.

If you know of any other books on motherhood, please recommend! :)

Happy Tuesday.