Nine Months

It's hard to believe that Z is nine months old.

He's officially been out as long as he was in. That feels like some kind of accomplishment to the new-mom part of my heart. Though pregnancy can be a rough ride, physically, the itty-bitty shows up and all of a sudden you realize they were pretty low maintenance while in utero, all things considered.

His middle name is Freedom and my husband and I chose it after much thinking and praying.

He has lived up to it, so far, valuing his independence as much as a nine month old can. Sometimes when he gets fussy all he wants is my husband and I to put him on the ground and let him roam.

Trying to be a non-controlling mother to an adventurous man is not a feat for the weak-willed, I think. I'm thankful for my husband, who is a little more able to let Z try and figure things out on his own at first, even if it means taking a stumble now and then.

He's pulling up on anything he can reach, and just now starting to assess the distances between the pieces of furniture in our living room to see if he can bridge the gap on only two feet.

We're pretty sure he's developed object permanence (oooOOOoooo) meaning he now knows that something exists even when we remove it from his line of sight.

Watching a child grow, I think, is full of mud-and-miracle moments. It can be a bit like watching grass grow and then you look at them one day and there's another soul staring back at you.

I have no idea how people sit through their kids' weddings without being totally wigged out. Right now my husband and I freak out every time Z laughs at something we do... I can't imagine watching him choose a career or promise to love a woman or having a conversation with him about his political beliefs.

Getting a bit ahead of myself, I guess. After all we still have things like bladder control and identifying our belly button to figure out between now and then.

My heart is so full of this little guy and having him has refined me and made me a better person more than (or at least much faster than) I think anything else would.