Writers Block

An empty page can be my best friend, or my worst enemy - to fill with thoughts that will hopefully be worth writing is a daunting task.

(Who's job is it to determine if words are worth putting to paper? No idea. I used to think this thought stemmed from a purist attitude toward writing. It's a skill, an art.) 

Lately I've wondered if being a writing purist is just another name for being a snob. 

Really, what may draw people into writing is honesty. Whether a writer expresses what I'm honestly feeling, or honestly, what I wish I felt... both suck me in. 

Maybe that's why people like Ernest Hemingway. His honesty (even in fiction) reminds me of a car wreck that you can't pull your eyes off of, or someone scraping their nails against a chalkboard. 

Or why J.R.R. Tolkein's great trilogy, The Lord of the Rings, has been poured over. I believe many hearts' honest and unexpressed desire is to be brave and do what no one else can.  

While in Colorado for the summer, all the college students in the program my husband and I help staff are reading Chazown. It's a book about finding your true purpose. A unique purpose. 

When wrestling through some of the questions they ask in the book, I heard my Father whisper, I have called you to be honest, and sometimes I know things are from the Lord when they simultaneously produce a sense of coming home, and venturing forth. Of peace in the present, and hope for the future. Of the already, and not yet. 

I have never been good at not being honest. Like in a, "no, everything's totally okay, just ignore the deep shade of red my face is turning and tears spilling over," kind of way. For the longest time I felt my easily displayed emotions were a hindrance. 

Now, maybe not. I've heard many times, that what ministers to people most when we sit down over coffee is my vulnerability. Not eloquent words or knowledge or pat answers or wisdom, but real-ness. 

Now I will attempt to carry that over every time I sit down to write. What is real, honest, true, vulnerable, transparent? What is the stuff of sustenance? The ropes of life I can hand down to others that are made of something worth grabbing hold of? Not just the painful bits, but the glorious ones too. The humor and joy and awkward moments and conviction and painstaking process of conversion. 

Thanks for reading my thoughts so far, my pledge is to write more - in quantity, if not quality. But I desire to hear more too. (From you, believe it or not.) More honesty, more hope, more humor, more grief, more desire, more loss, more joy. 

I'd love to hear about it. 


  1. Amen... That is something I feel God is trying to teach me right now. He just wants my honesty with Him. So many times I just brush off all the little annoyances and problems and just come to Him guarded.

    Thanks for your openness and honesty! :)

  2. Man, I feel you. Even with the snobbery business. I feel like the Lord is taking me through a slow journey of finding good in my critical nature (seriously, when we were dating, Stephen said I had a critical nature. I was totes offended, but it's kind of true anyway). I know there are aspects of it that help me refine things, make them better, make them more what they should be. And I love that about myself. But I really hate the judgmental, nit-picky, superior side that seems to come with it.
    Love you, C. You do God proud. It'll be AWESOME to see you again a la staff retreat. Maybe we can go for some happy hour treats. :)

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  4. When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God...My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power

    Personally, i feel like real-ness in our culture is a demonstration of the Spirit's power. We're taught to hide our weaknesses, but as Christians we boast in them because they show God to be the Hero... it's weird... it's refreshing i think.

  5. Summer: Thanks for sharing! Every once in awhile I facebook stalk your family and I think ya'll are amazing. :)

    Michelle: I feel like the Lord might be teaching me the same thing this summer, maybe. I do feel like the Negative Nancy in the group a lot of times. AND I was wondering if you were going to be at staff retreat, so I'm REALLY excited to hear that.

    Sam: Anytime someone can relate something Paul said to what I wrote I agree immediately...(kidding.) But seriously, I never thought of real-ness as coming from the Spirit's power, but I can very much see how it's not in my fallen nature to be forthright or transparent.

  6. p.s. Summer: I meant to add, I do that ALL THE TIME. I really liked how you phrased that: "come to Him guarded."