Life, As it Were

Z is two months old. 

His favorite activities are still eating and sleeping, but listening to music and wildly flailing his limbs is a close second. This past week he discovered that gnawing on his fists was fun, and has only accidentally punched himself in the face once when his excitement about this newfound activity outran his motor skills. He has rolled over completely by himself once, but we had to let him get pretty mad in order to do it. Most of the time he makes it to his side and then decides he's done. He shoots one dimple smiles all the time and if you're lucky you'll get a two dimple smile and a coo.

We love him more than both of our hearts can hold.

I don't think I'll ever understand how much God loves me. Having a child has helped me understand a little more, but only about as much as a goldfish might understand the concept of the ocean when moved to a slightly bigger bowl.

I know God loves me because He chases me. He chases me through beauty in nature, through music, through laughter, most of all He chases me through written words. He chases even when I run from Him.

We do have a good God... I know that phrase can sound tired because of overuse, but it's true.

I'm in one of those, "I've started fifty posts but haven't had time to finish them," modes again. We do have a decently set routine down, but I'm still working on how to incorporate things like consistent work outs and writing. I'll sit down to write and then Z will wake up early from a nap, or start fussing and only be satisfied if I hold him, or it just takes too long and I have to move on to grocery shopping or cooking dinner.

I'm convinced one of the reasons I was supposed to have Z, and probably more kids later, is to increase my self-discipline. And you know what? I'm pretty excited about it. While adulthood is obnoxiously responsibility-ridden at times, it also has its perks that I enjoy much more when managing life well.

Right now I have a pile of books sitting next to the spot where I nurse, in hopes that I'll crack them open instead of my laptop. So far, so good. And my next step is to schedule a consistent writing time during one of Z's naps. (He does take FOUR EVERY DAY... at least right now... so it shouldn't be too hard.)

A pretty random, rambly post, this one was; but I have a lot less time for polishing and making things look pretty... which may not be an entirely bad thing.